Forbidden.

So, I've been banned from seeing Hunter.
.....Shit.
My mom went through my messages on Skype and found some rather graphic and explicit things. She was pissed. So, we argued. I cried. Later, I told him how much I had fucked up. We agreed that neither of us was ready for any relationship. But, he still said;
"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have made you done that. And no, you haven't fucked up. I want to see you this weekend. Whether it's for five minutes or a whole day, I want to see you."
And well, we saw each other. We met at the football field outside of my school after rehearsal. As soon as I was close enough he pulled me into a warm embrace. "I missed you." He said. "I missed you too." I mumbled the words into his neck. 
Later, as we were laying underneath the trees near the football field, something hit me that truly terrified me. I was developing feelings for him. As simple and as complicated as it is now, I was falling for him. I pulled away from his kiss.
"Hunter...."I whispered quietly. "There's something I want to tell you. I'm going to sound like a complete idiot, but I want to say it anyway."
His face remained close to mine, our eyes locked on each other. "What is it?"
I said, very quietly, "....What if I told you I thought I may be falling for you?"
He paused, and all I could think was "Shit."
But then, he looked at me. "I don't know. But what I do know is that I feel like you're someone I could care about, a lot. I know it's only been a short while, but it feels like..."
"We've known each other for longer?" I finished his sentence. Our eyes met and he whispered. "Yes." before pulling me into another kiss, like so many before, that could leave me breathless.
The days passed quickly. My show, Rent, opened. 
Then yesterday, my resolve broke down.
I had eaten so much. A&W, lunch, waffles, even more. I ran into the washroom and locked myself in a stall. My stomach was literally swelling.
I apologize in advance for saying what I'm about to say. In fact, I won't say it. All I'll do is say that I left the bathroom eventually, my stomach lighter.
Today I fought the urge to do it again. My friends snapped at me and mostly left me alone. I was supposed to go out for lunch, but they went ahead without me. But, we were so stressed and busy from the play that I didn't blame them for it. So I played loner. But it got to a point where I couldn't take it. I pulled out my cell phone and called my friend David C. I cried, he listened.
Now, I'm exhausted.

Damn. I want to look like that.


-V.