The Greatest Game

As I watch "The Longest Yard" at 1 AM in the morning (EST), the argument with my mother races through my head.
"Vixen, you are going to get destroyed. And what happens if you actually do make the team? There are tons of guys there who are on it to get scholarships, to get scoped out by professional teams. How do you think they'll react if a girl beats them to their position?"
Every since that first day in grade 6, when I grew a pair and played my first game of pickup football, the effect was instantaneous and the message became clear- football was my sport. I loved every second of it- the heart pounding sensation of that milisecond before the ball snaps and everyone bolts out of formation, the feel of pigskin against your fingers as you catch it, and the feeling of absolute insanity when your running for your life with that precious ball tucked into the crook of your arm.

I did a football training camp in Grade 9, and was then forbidden to join the junior team by my mother. Now grade 12 is knocking at my door, and I came to a realization of something- That I was not going to let another dream fucking die.
I have to at least try.
If I don't make it- yeah, that's it, too bad. I didn't deserve it. But at least I tried.
And if I do?
I'll be the best goddamn wide receiver to ever play for the team.
You can put that shit in writing.
-V

The Suicide Series: Letter Two

Dear Arien,

It already feels like you've been away from the school for far, far too long. And yet it still feels like yesterday that I was hugging you goodbye, fighting back tears at the thought of losing one of my closest friends. How does that even work? I dunno. 

Arien, I want you to know a few things about yourself. You are hands down, one of the cleverest, funniest, most spontaneous, most friendly, most beautiful girls I know. You have this.... I don't know what to call it, but for now I'll say an aura.... a crazy, giddy aura that pulls everyone you know into it. Your happiness is contagious and it always made my day to see that big, beautiful, beaming smile spread across your face.

I hope that you're happy in the sioux, and I hope that new man of yours treats you with love and respect.
I wish you hadn't left. Because.... maybe you could have talked me out of this. I'm sorry, but I'm finally going through with it. I wish I could've seen one of my closest friends one last time.
Take care, Arien. You've made it this far- you can keep going, I know you can.
Love, 
Vixen.